Self-Authorship Journey

Transitioning into my final two years at the University of Oregon (UO) was a period of significant holistic transformation. Until that point my journey toward self-authorship was stagnant due to a heavy reliance on external formulas, which resulted in a lack of emphasis on developing an internal sense of self (Baxter Magolda, 2002). Due to my fear of disappointing someone, I was too preoccupied with others’ perceptions and expectations of me, and because of this I never took the time to explore how I perceived myself and what expectations I wanted to establish for myself. My third undergraduate year, however, was marked by several new personal, academic, and professional developments that aided my cognitive, interpersonal, and intrapersonal growth. This growth is ongoing, but I owe a great deal to those at UO who recognized my potential and served as good company by fostering environments and opportunities in which I could thrive. 

Despite my evident development during my undergraduate years, I am cognizant that development is continuous and I am exiting the crossroads of that continuum and entering the third phase of the self-authorship journey: becoming the author of [my] life (Baxter Magolda, 2001). That continuum is also complex. Rather than being fixed and linear, it is “undulating, cyclical, [and] wavelike” (Baxter Magolda & King, 2012, p. 16). This image demonstrates that the journey toward internal orientation, or self-authorship, is also complicated, at times arduous but not without triumph. Meanwhile, the crossroads represent the intersection of external formulas and internal orientation and individuals “find their way out of the crossroads when their internal voices have developed sufficient strength to coordinate external influence” (Baxter Magolda & King, 2012, p. 14). This intersection perfectly represents the tension I feel at times between the external formulas in my life and my own internal dialogue. It is challenging to break free from the external factors that have been present in my life for so long. The concept of a continuum is encouraging, however, and reinforces the notion that I am continuing to make progress toward self-authorship by choosing my beliefs and defending them when needed. Furthermore, this continued progress includes triumphs and decisions that have been more intrinsically driven and better reflect the tenets of internal foundations. 

My internal voice developed significantly as an undergraduate, and the two years following graduation, but that voice is still being explored and shaped. Luckily, as a graduate student and a graduate assistant at William & Mary, I can already identify individuals and groups within academic, professional, and personal contexts who will serve as good company as I continue on that undulating, wavelike journey. 

References:

Baxter Magolda, M. B. (2001). Making their own way: Narratives for transforming higher education to promote self-development. Sterling, VA: Stylus.

Baxter Magolda, M. B. (2002). Helping students make their way to adulthood: Good company for the journey. About Campus, 6(6), 2-9. doi:10.1002/abc.66

Baxter Magolda, M. B., & King, P. M. (2012). Assessing meaning making and self-authorship: Theory, research, and application. [ASHE Higher Education Report, 38(3)]. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.